It isn't that I am jealous of his ex...is more that I love John and his soul so much, that it makes me sick at heart to know that such a sin touched him for so long. John's view on sex has changed radically since we have been dating, greatly due to the fact that (on his own) he has been reading Catholic literature regarding it and is completely committed to doing the right thing. We both take our chastity very seriously, and he has bent over backwards to keep our relationship chaste in every respect.And yet, to know his old habits and views still hurts. I don't want them to cause problems for our relationship, while dating, engaged or married.As he comes from a devout, conservative, Catholic family, as do I, I was totally shocked and crushed.
My gut says not to pass up that respect and real love for his past sins. You two have a bright, happy life ahead of you, forget about the past.
I was in just out of HEAVY sin when I met my husband. Now let's move on to the future." You love your boyfriend. Jesus has forgiven him, and your boyfriend practices his Catholic faith! Ask Jesus to take away your feelings of sorrow about your boyfriend's past.
I am a completely different person than I was then. If I was in your case-meet a wonderful woman who wasn't a virgin-guess what-you say "You learned from the past? It is a wonderful blessing to have a husband of the same faith whose values about marriage are the same as yours!
(I've had friends that snub me because I'm not as "cool" as I used to be) People change and I was very sad and depressed about my sinful choices and glad he took the chance on the "new me". It bugs me that my husband didn't wait for me or I him but we've both repented and are happily married and have been since March 19, 2003. If the answer is yes to either one of those questions, put on a smiley face and move on. He told me that he was attracted to me because I was many thing his ex girlfriend wasn't; a good Catholic woman committed to the faith, with the potential to make a good wife and mother...
I need some advice on how to cope with something that is causing me some sorrow.
In May of 2010, I met a Catholic man (John) a first cousin of one of my best friends.
I can confidently say that I love him very deeply, that he would make an amazing husband and father, and I am almost to the point where I can't imagine life without him. Though he has made heroic efforts in coming back to the faith, in living a good life, trying to be a better Catholic, and in loving and respecting me, it still makes me sick at heart to know how he had lived.
While I was never perfect either, I waited, as did my ex boyfriend, I have waited for marriage for intercourse.
Now if I can just get him to stop brow beating me about converting to the Catholic Church..nobody's marriage is "perfect" we get along about everything else. We had many discussions about it and I later found out that he had much guilt associated with how he had lived, that he wanted to be a better Catholic, and that he valued me, more than anything, as a spiritual role model and peer, something his ex wasn't, and sincerely wishes he had waited for his future wife. What I am getting from your post is, more than anything else, lingering doubt about whether your boyfriend has truly repented of his past actions, or whether this is more a case of a man deciding to settle down after "sowing his wild oats" without any true realization that his previous lifestyle was sinful.
Is there also doubt about whether the disordered way he viewed sex in the past has truly gone away, or if he's just repressing his urges right now because he knows that's the only way to "win" you?
Or was it more that he was blinded by hormones into thinking he was in love, and realized after wasting a lot of time that she wasn't the right woman for him?