There are a myriad of ways to flee intimacy, even as we seek it.
Avoidance tactics include: staying home and watching TV or surfing the net instead of going to places where people with shared values can be found; wasting time on “attractions of deprivation”; texting endlessly but never taking steps to meet; not approaching the people you’re really interested in; playing it cool instead of showing genuine enthusiasm; drinking too much on dates and/or settling for casual hookups. On the surface this sounds like an easy thing, but it’s not.
It’s based upon revealing who we really are and then choosing only people who truly value us.
The bottom line is, this soulless approach doesn't lead to love. There is a wiser path to finding love, though, one that’s not based on game-playing or cosmetic change.
We’ve all heard some version of these ideas before.
Yet in our 20s, 30s and even our early 40s, most of us weren’t ready to listen. But as we enter midlife, the idea of building sustainable and sustaining love becomes more compelling than ever. Try Cooking Together First) 4 Steps to Finding Lasting Love 1.
Give up on your “attractions of deprivation.” It’s easy to become attracted to people who can almost commit -- who treat us wonderfully then demean or ignore us.
These attractions spring from early feelings of inadequacy, usually in relation to our parents. When we reach this stage, a dead-end era of our dating lives draws to a close, and we can begin the real work of intimacy: cultivating our attraction to relationships that feed and nurture us. Cultivate your “attractions of inspiration.” As we lose our taste for attractions of deprivation and start to change our behavior, we usually experience a temporary void in our dating life.And that is a splendid albeit hard-won gift of maturity.Read more on Next Avenue Still Dating After All These Years Where Single Women Might Want to Retire Ex Appeal: Sometimes Partners Are Better the Second Time Around What Do You Call Your Significant Other?When we’re willing to let go of our flight patterns and leave our safety nets -- which have become traps, not havens -- that’s when we find our dating life can begin to change. The more we share our real feelings, desires and vulnerability, the more we risk being hurt.As a result, we often create airbrushed versions of ourselves for the world to see.COM, Best Waec result-upgrade, Bestshowbiz, Kwadjo Panyin, Supabets Ghana, Everydayfashion ng, Gheventplus.com, Inesfly Africa, FC Barcelona Live, Okay 101.7 FM, Peace FM 104.3, Peace FM 104.3, Peace 104.3 FM, Womenworking.com, Golden Tulip Accra Hotel, Abrokwah arts, Kwaku Manu bob, Standard Chartered Ghana, Yvonne Okoro, Photogbee, Kalejaiye Oluwaseun Michael, MAAME Serwaa, Counselor Adofoli, Buzz Ghana.com, Harinzey Art., President Nana Addo Is Here, Joyprime, Kessben TV, Bro.