Concern about STDs and unwanted pregnancies can help create sexual boundaries, believes Mc Clary.
If, for instance, you're on the fence about whether or not to take sexual activity to the next level, a healthy dose of fear may cause you to pause, particularly if you're not prepared to take the necessary precautions.
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"The risks of STDS have got to be discussed and prevented from spreading," Allen tells Web MD."I say definitely use condoms, even if you're in a committed relationship," she adds.Whether you're new to the dating scene, a regular player, or jumping back into the game after a long hiatus, the same questions about dating rules apply: How soon do you lean over for that first kiss? And last -- but by no means least -- how do you know when the time is right for sex?"There's really no formula that I've encountered," says 28-year-old Andrew Reymer, a single resident of Baltimore, Maryland.According to the singles whom Allen has encountered, boomers generally play by far different dating rules than young, 20-something daters.
"I spoke with a young man in his early to mid-20s who told me that if he didn't have sex on the first or second night, he'd move on to the next person," she recalls."Make sure your brain, heart, and penis are in conjunction -- they should all be in a straight line before you have sex," she says.Mc Clary believes all daters should invest the same amount of time conducting these 'self' conversations about personal dating rules as they do primping before a big date.To that end, Mc Clary often tells women, "If you value a committed relationship, ask yourself, 'What do I need to do to stay emotionally whole?'" When directing her advice on dating rules to a male audience, Mc Clary puts things a little differently.But overall, I have found that very often they want the same thing," Allen says.