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" The wife replies, "He said he wants your underwear." A young guy had been dating a beautiful young girl for a while but had never met her parents.

The pirate had a wooden leg, a hook for one hand, and a patch over one eye. " I replied, "Just doing the same as you, sitting here." Then the voice asked, "Can I come over?

Feeling sorry for the pirate, the man said, "Come over here, my friend. " replied the pirate, "I lost that fighting cannibals on a treasure island." "Oh my word! " Annoyed, I said, "Actually, I'm a little busy right now." The voice then said, "Listen, I'll have to call you back, there's an idiot next door who keeps answering all my questions." A little old man who's hard of hearing goes to see the doctor.

Once he was in the house, the problem soon developed into one of acute flatulence which he did his best to restrain.

Eventually though, he couldn't hold it in one second longer without exploding. " This woman who lives in a rural area wants to have an outhouse that doesn't stink, because she's really squeamish and sensitive.

More than 60 Fallout emojis, including Dogmeat, the Pip-Boy and a two-headed bovine, can be sent to friends via text message.

Or you can send animations like "Please Stand By" or a cannibalistic Vault Boy chowing down on a leg if you want to communicate with moving pictures. I'd just sat down when I heard a voice from the next cubicle say, "Hi, how are you? The man says, "I'm taking it home to put on my strawberries." The little boy looks up at the man and says, "I don't know where you come from, but where I come from we put cream and sugar on our strawberries." I went into a public toilet for a poop the other day.In the second room there are billions of people standing neck deep in diarrhea, drinking tea.The guy says to the devil, "Hey, this isn't so bad! " So the devil sends him in to spend the rest of his days there. " A bear and a rabbit are pooping in the woods one day.He was very nervous about meeting them, though, and worried about it all the way to their house.